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That Fucking ...

I had to make that FUCKING list

So one Sunday night I watched a video of a performance that my small team did and I noticed a lot of mistakes, so I thought it might be helpful to point them out to everyone. so I made a list of every single FUCKING mistake that everyone made, two pages long, specifically pointing people out. that would've been fine, but I had to FUCKING send it to everyone on the team. I went to bed and then went to school in the morning. turns out, I hurt half of their feelings and they ranted to a teacher. the teacher gives a general lecture to the entire class, which I was oblivious that it was directed toward me because I thought that I did a FUCKING service to the team. after school I get called into a back room and I get lectured by one of the leaders. of course I apologized to everyone because I didn't think about how it would affect anyone. I just happened to make a late FUCKING night decision that I didn't think about at all in the span of 30 minutes that I created that stupid FUCKING list. I tried to put humor into the list, like I do but they weren't used to that side of me. that FUCKING happened several months ago but I'm just now FUCKING remembering becuase why the FUCK NOT. I'm not even mad that they told anyone, I'm glad that I was told that I was being FUCKING rude. IT'S THE FUCKING FACT THAT I WAS RUDE AS FUCK THAT I'M ANGRY ABOUT!!! I WISH I HADN'T MADE THAT STUPID FUCKING LIST AND SENT IT TO EVERYONE! I WISH I MADE BETTER DECISIONS AND DIDN'T RUIN MY LIFE FOR A WEEK AND HAD IT RESURFACE MONTHS LATER JUST BECAUSE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR ONE SECOND AND NOW IT'S CONSUMING MY THOUGHTS AT NIGHT AROUND THE TIME THAT I SENT THAT STUPID FUCKING LIST AND SENDING ME INTO A DEPRESSIVE EPISODE EVERY NIGHT! I WISH I WASN'T FUCKING DEPRESSED AT ALL BECAUSE IT SUCKS NOT BEING MOTIVATED TO DO ANYTHING JUST BECAUSE YOUR BODY SAYS NO! WHY CAN'T I BE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON INSTEAD OF THIS STUPID IDIOT THAT SENDS A LIST THAT INDIRECTLY HURT EVERYONE THAT IT WAS SENT TO BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING GIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM INSTEAD OF JUST POINTING OUT MISTAKES! (to be fair though, it is difficult to point out things during practice that late in the season) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [Report]


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Daddy

Poor baby, come into daddys arms. I love you

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