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Simon Philip ...

I can't anymore

I'm a 32 years old male. I have a girlfriend that loves me, and I love her back, a caring family, my own flat with everything I enjoy in it, and I'm on a well paid corporate job, but it's a dead end job, a job that I don't completly hate, but I hate almost everything in it, the people who work with me, the clients, the main purpose of the entire thing, the work schedule, my CEO's. I feel depressed all the time, but I don't feel entitle to be depressed, so I don't tell anyone. Is not easy to get a job with the same salary in this forsaken city, I hate to travel, I hate big changes, I end up drowing myself in whisky and beer and smoke cigarette after cigarette and think about ways to kill myself. I've tried to kill myself a couple of time, most of the time ended up with a huge hangover, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend knows about my depression, but she jokes about it, telling I don't have any reason to be depressed, it's true, I don't have, I just want the pain and self hate to disapear without any medication.

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Robert

So. Everything in your live is perfekt, but not your job. Your Job makes you depressiv and wanting to kill yourself. But you don't want to change your Job because you get good salary.
Don't you think, it might be a better option to look for a Job with less good salary, than wanting to kill yourself? Money means nothing if you can't be happy in your live because you hate what you do all day. And your Job seems to be your only problem, everything else is perfect. So, change your Job, the Job is your problem!
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fish

I'm sorry to hear that. I think you are entitled to have that feeling of being depressed. Life freaking sucks and even if you're in a good physical condition, things can still affect you. Maybe your girlfriend has never went through that, but it's still unkind to compare your experiences to ones we see on the news and television. It's not the pain Olympics, just different ways we feel. So yeah! Identify that you're depressed. I think the first step is to identify what's wrong, and you did! With your work conditions and how it made you feel. And how your coping with, is not the healthiest. I think that's a great first step. I'm wondering if you could to talk to someone who might understand and empathize with you than brush off your feelings and tell you you're not feeling the things you're feeling. When I feel suicidal, I sometimes need to feel and hear that confirmation. And also cry...

Is there anyway you can get a therapist btw?

Since you said you won't be able to get another job as salary-high as yours, maybe you could join a club or hobby after work (I know it sucks when you're bone dead tired, but it helps making connections and things to do!). And during that mean time, if you want to, look for some work hiring that matches your interests. You don't have to apply to these, just see what piques your interests. Manifest it.

And as always, you can disregard my advice, sometimes we just need a bit of empathy than someone's advice.
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This comment has been deleted because it violated the rules of this page or did not fit this topic: Written by Lilithfotze on 15.07.2020, 23:45 Uhr.

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