I'M Motherfucking tired of pleasing people to be treated like bullshit.
I HATE HOW EVERYBODY TREATS ME LIKE A FUCKING SERVANT. Before, I used to be quite friendly and would go out of my way to make someone be my acquaintance, but now I don't even FUCKING care anymore. Ever since I moved to this place, i've been nothing but people's "extra" cast in their life, not even that. I'm nothing to them. Even after I stand up for them, take the blame for them and go out of my way to do a 10-1 hour research for them on something extremely petty, but afterwards, they treat me as if i'm their bitch and i'm supposed to bow to everything they say. Especially in class projects. I'm considered the "Lazy Woman Outcast who is doing nothing but drawing stupid things" When i'm grinding my ass researching and making materials, when they just throw it in the trash and listen to dumb irrelevant garbage. When I finally just give up and walk into the corner of the room to vent steam, they go and bug the teachers, making up things such as "Oh she was ruining the project, she wont do anything but draw all the time, its stupid" And the teacher believes them. But considering it's 1v4, I't slightly makes sense, but it actually doesn't because all this semester i've been working my ass to have a good reputation with the teachers, but EVERY SINGLE TIME i'm kicked to the curb and they are going and loving everyone else. And to make matters worse, my parent's don't even care. They just keep saying "Deal with it bitch" "We had it harder we had boarding fucking school" but then again, my mother and uncle are twins, so they have each other. I HAVE NOTHING BUT THE INTERNET AND SUSHI AND 90% OF THE TIME I CANT EVEN GET SUSHI. And after all this, they still expect me to be a cheerful barbie doll that gets all A'S and is friends with everyone, But they don't even do that themselves! They expect me to lie on their shoulders, keep my posture straight and be happy, BUT HOW SHOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY WHEN MY MIND IS ON 24/7 BEING SOME PERFECT BARBIE DOLL AND EACH TIME THEY JUST SAY "Try Harder".
But today I saw a quote, and it said something like this:
"Life is short, so don't live for anybody else and LIVE YOUR LIFE."
After seeing that today, on Monday i'm gonna FUCK SHIT UP AND SHOW EVERYONE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PUSH BUTTONS TOO MANY FUCKING TIMES AND THEY FINALLY CRACK AND THEN YOU SEE YOU'RE EXPECTATIONS WERE WAY TOO FUCKING HIGH AND NOBODY CAN BE A BARBIE DOLL. I'M NOT AN "EXTRA CAST MEMBER" IN LIFE, I BELIEVE I DESERVE A SHOT AT THE DAMN STARRING ROLE.
Thank you so much for reading this, please leave advice below, thanks.
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