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Mrs. Anonymus
Member [2]

Mother in law gets on my nerves...

Hey guys.. I just have to let off some MIL steam right now, if I'm acting crazy, feel free to tell me. Btw sorry if it doesn't make proper sense, I just write how the thoughts come in my head.

It all started, when my hubby, his mother and I moved into the house they had just finished building. Both of them said it is my house too since we are married. Cool, I thought, but it just doesn't feel like my house, because nothing in here was decided by me. If I want to rearrange things in the kitchen, my MIL just puts them back to where the were.
I ask simple things, like please don't put dishes and knives in the sink, especially the knives since I could cut myself - which almost happened a couple of times even though I am really careful. But all the asking her to not do this anymore does nothing, it's like I am talking to a wall. So I let it slide. Then she starts to redo the dishes after I just did them. She wouldn't do them but tell me to do them. After I finish them, couple of minutes later she comes out and cleans some of them again or already puts them away when they're still wet. I asked my hubby to tell her not to, I will put them away in the morning or also to ask her why she has to rewash them, when I already did them. (Her English is not that good and she just won't practice to speak it more with her son -.-) Or when I clean the house she will tell me what I am doing wrong even though I am doing it the way she told me to. The floor is too wet, the mop is not wet enough..all just little things that are bugging me to the bone. And when I talk to my hubby about all the that, all I get from him are things like: Let her be, it's nothing big anyway. She wants to feel useful. She's bored and need something to do...

Well if she is so bored she should get herself a hobby or something - apparently she has soooo many friends but never goes out to see them. Also she started talking to someone from UK in English obviously, and it seems she can talk fine with that guy but she is not able to talk properly to me? I use the easiest English I can think of to tell her things or to ask her stuff, but she never understands and my husband has to translate everything for her into Urdu (we are currently living in Pakistan - but I'll be going back to my country in October).

And I don't want to seem ungrateful or anything but all the things she gives me: clothes, make-up, jewellery.. I don't really care about that stuff. I have enough of all of them and to me it feels like, she is trying to "buy" my love for her - which sadly I just can't give her. The way she speaks to her son, just disgusts me and I can't tolerate that, but there is nothing I can do. My husband and his older sister had a rough childhood - my husband more than his sister since she was the favorite and the wanted child. My hubby had to hunger for days, got beaten by his father and had to endure lies his stepmother mad up and punishments from his father. His mom had to face hate from family because she left her husband and a lot of other stuff I don't want to talk about. Still this doesn't justify how she treats my husband. She orders him around, she yells at him and never apologizes for anything. He has to do everything for her and she never thanks him for it. I know she went through a lot and I get that my husband can never repay her for keeping him alive and fighting for him, but I just can't accept her treatment towards him. All she does here is talk about how great her daughter is, how proud she is of her for studying in UK and how much she adores her son in law that treats her sooo nicely.

Well in the beginning I treated her nicely as well. I did everything she asked me to without asking or being annoyed by it. But after some time I felt like she is using me as a servant. Clean this, bring me that, do this, wash this..and never said thank you or anything appreciative. My husband thinks I am crazy for thinking this since she buys me all these things - which I do not care much about. You can't buy me and I just can't like her anymore. Maybe it's because we are living together 24/7 and it might get better once I am back in my country. That is also what we are currently planning: getting my husband away from here and to live with me in "my" country. I think it would do him good as well, getting away from her. He said it a couple of times that he doesn't care what his mom does once he is gone, so I think for his mental health this will be good - he struggles with depression as well, once almost managed to kill himself after a fight with his mother. So hopefully in a year or so my husband will be free of her. I know this is probably a very bad thing to say about a mother, but she is just not a nice person to me. To others she may seem like one - she always praises me in front of them as well - but then turns back to nagging once we're alone. She's so friendly to everyone but no one wants to hang out with her for long.

I hope this makes some sense. In my head it did. Pretty sure no one will read it anyway since it is way too long.
If anyone did, I would like to hear your thoughts, maybe I am crazy about it, but I have stomach issues since I am here because I can't say anything to her and it annoys and angers me so much. I never had this with any person before...I just dislike her so much and can't wait to be away from her.

Ok, thanks again and have a nice day! Bye-bye!...






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